It's been six months


How can six months go by so fast?

It seems that when you're in the middle of it all, time drags on. Every day is one more day of worry, fear and sadness, and those emotions seem to slow time down, don't they!

When I feel happy, time just rushes by, and I almost loose enjoyment of the moment.

Why does it take these reminders of life's fragility, to enjoy and breathe in the moment.

Had my six month check up this morning and after all that nervousness (yes I tapped on it, and it would go away for a while, but then just come back), I wanted to just wander around, go into a store, walk a couple of blocks, and just enjoy whatever....sun, wind (very windy today!), people, life.

Can't believe that it's been six months. Feels like it was just yesterday, that I was in the middle of chaos, sleeplessness, tears, longing for it to never have happened, praying for God to take it away, and whatever else I was doing to handle my situation.

And, of course the deep, inner work I did, that helped me heal.

At the same time, it feels like it was so long ago. Another life, not me, unreal.

This morning, I wasn't afraid that anything would be wrong, I just had this familiar nervousness fill my body. Maybe this is what trauma is, a physical memory, more than anything else. Interesting, and something to look further into.

More to discover, more to clean out, more to learn from.

But for today, it's celebration! Happy birthday to me!!!