I know it's supposed to snow again but still. The sun is out, air still chilly but, at least I, am gettingthat first stirring of spring feelings.
So the first thought might not be about cleaning out closets and getting rid of those hard to reach piles of dust. But it's a great opportunity, to look at what you'd like to get rid of in your life.
I'm actually talking about a different kind of spring cleaning. A cleaning out, that you can do, any time of the year. Even continuously do, in life.
A kind of inner cleaning out.
You know experiences, memories that you tend to hold on to, re-hash, share with old and new friends. They seem to almost define you. They give you value, make you special.
Also the ones that seem to have a hold on you, the ones that run you and that you'd like to really move out of your consciousness.
As an example of the first kind is: Giving birth to my son was a very long, painful and dramatic experience that ended in an emergency C-section. Don't think anyone in my life hasn't heard that story, in all its details.
Yes, it's also been a way for me to relive that amazing experience that ended in a deep, lasting and complete, unconditional love. It's also made me feel special, tough and like I have something that can trump someone else.
But it's almost 23 years ago!
And I've had a million other amazing experiences with my son. Why have I been holding on to that one? Not for him, but for some feeling of a bond to other women and also for that feeling of "I got through it and it means that I'm something else".
Another one, which has followed me for longer than that, is: I was in an abusive relationship, not physical abuse, but mental, emotional and sexual. Since I'm in this cleaning out process, I'm not going to go into all the details. But it had all those parts, no one knew about it, I felt immensely ashamed to be that person, I dropped deeper and deeper into loneliness, depression and desperation.
But, when I started talking about it, it made me interesting and like "I knew". Don't get me wrong, it has given me an insight into both the abuser and the abused, which has helped me in my work as a Life Coach, although more than that, it has left me with an intense aversion, to having someone, trying to tell me what to do, big or small.
I might have left that relationship a long time ago, but it has still had a hold on me.
So now, to the cleaning out. I didn¨t create this one but would like to share it with you.
On small pieces of paper, you write down whatever drama, emotional baggage, experiences that you feel are over, that you'd like to leave in the past. Then you burn them, one by one (in a safe environment, we don't want a fire) while feeling those emotions and how they are going up in flames. Also, add the dramas, that you might not remember, be aware of at the moment.
And about that first drama, I told you about. At the gym this morning, a woman was telling someone else about her giving birth, the pain, the hours, all of it. I'm right there, and I'm having no pull into the story, no wanting to tell mine, no emotions, one way or the other. It's over. I don't need that story any longer. I've moved on. SO nice!
I invite you to do your spring cleaning and would love to hear how it worked out for you.