“How will I get them to like me? Just be yourself!”
“How will I get this new job? Just show them who you are!”
“I can’t be myself around you!”
“Do you have to behave that way around my mother?” “I’m just being me.” “Yes I know, but can you tone it down a bit?”
“I don’t know I just don’t feel like myself.”
What is being yourself? It seems that we know when we are and we can feel when we’re not.
We also see therapists and Life Coaches, and take workshops to find out who we really are or to get back to our true self.
I know someone who stopped being bubbly, friendly and funny when she started going out with her future husband because he didn’t want her to flirt with everyone. She wasn’t flirting, she was just being herself.
And someone else who says she can’t live without creating - art, fashion, new rooms.
Another one who stopped being accommodating to everyone, started saying no and putting herself first instead of everyone else, and then people around her pulled away. She feels more like herself although a bit sad that certain persons don’t seem to want to be around her anymore.
And a young person who met her first love and I asked- what is it you like about him, and she answered- “I can be myself around him.”
I know people who always speak their mind, always take up room and seem to have very little awareness of people around them. Are they being themselves?
Other ones who hardly ever say anything when they’re in a group but when you’re alone with them, they express their brilliant, insightful and very funny mind. Who are they really, then?
Some people in my life i feel like I can be myself with. Crazy, strong, sad, scared, confident, hopeful, successful, failing and everything in between, and they are with me, up and down, back and forth. And I am the same for them. They know who I am and i know who they are.
And then there are others where I change. I make myself smaller and quieter. I don’t share my ideas, I choose my words and actions carefully. I try to fit, sometimes not to disturb and sometimes to keep their friendship.
Navigating through life you can learn how to behave in different social situations, you can develop new skills and leave ways of thinking and acting behind but you always know (for some maybe hidden deep within) when you are being who you really are.
It’s some inner guiding system originating in who you came here to be and when you live from there, you know that you are who you really are - yourself. And it seems that when you live in that space you are the happiest, the most content and also the most powerful. You stand firmly, you’re connected to your inner antennas and also to people around, and your actions reflect that. They originate in honesty, courage and love.