Yesterday waking up and feeling good. That overwhelming tiredness gone, slight excitement stirring in my chest and energy to want…..wanting to get up, go outside, do things (almost anything), see people, think about the future…LIVE.
Seeing me in the mirror instead of that broken, beaten down and filled with sadness woman who looked back at me a couple of days ago.
Walking Winston, even the out of breath reaction to any uphill, any couple of stairs, doesn’t bother me. Just a part of chemo and not something that means anything else than a slight hitch for a couple of months.
Taking him to doggy class @gabigladahundar I feel excited, curious and confident and he does amazingly well. I can feel my love for him returning where him looking at me doesn’t mean he wants something but instead is him communicating his trust in me.
Leaving the class he’s calmer, following me and I’m excited to have been reminded that I love dog training and to learn new things.
There is “another” Winston who’s calm, balanced and eager to learn and it’s all about my energy, my ability to stay centered and relaxed in my body, all the way into my feet.
Talking to my American accountant, my tax return has a very happy surprise in it.
My brother visiting with delicious blueberry muffins.
A friend inviting me to “fika”, have coffee tomorrow.
Being where I am has given me such an appreciation for those small, maybe mundane things that make up life. Maybe being in that state of unprotected weakness also makes me notice what otherwise just rushes by.
So even if I think it’s a little unfair that when I feel like sh….t the Universe throws me more crap, I am grateful for yet another lesson in that this is how it works, your energy, your emotional state creates your reality.