Very tired last night, after my frist “once/week” treatment. Dozing off ( a bit of chemo brain as I had to look for the right word-it does go away though, so not worried, just so weird) in front of the TV and went to bed at 8 pm.
You receive anti-histamin intravenously against possible allergic reaction to the this chemo mix, so maybe from that.
And lo and behold slept for nine hours with only one trip to the bathroom! Laughing to think that this is something so happy making.
Waking up, feeling ok, not that debilitating tiredness, no swollen eyes, no uncomfortable gut, no shakiness. A little heaviness in my head and tricky to spell right but more a feeling of being slightly high and that “not caring” feeling that comes with that, if I remember right, those days being way back in my life.Winston was allowed to have the whole kitchen during the night and not just his crate.
Could hear him early in the morning and he had peed on the floor, but that could be from just a long night for him.
A bit of the jumping, snapping and going crazy but after been put in his crate, he’s now sleeping. Yesterday I had to move out of the kitchen for him not to bark, s such a difference. I’m calmer which makes him calmer and that makes me calmer and then he relaxes.
Thank you Universe (or Gabi, https://www.facebook.com/gabrielle.vonpost, dog trainer extra ordinaire), Cesar (http://www.cesarsway.com, dog whisperer” who I watch every day now while resting) and me for actually following through of being the leader, even in the midst of exhaustion!
And the little crazy, stressed, strong willed and confused cutie pie, fur baby I supposedly need (“You get the dog you need”), I won’t give you away just yet and I won’t tell you that I wish you were Oliver, my oh so different, boxer I brought from the US to Sweden many years ago.
Even though (probably from a puppy mill) three months in quarantine when arriving in Sweden, stayed completely trust worthy, calm, well mannered and happy, and the best big brother to then baby Lucas.
So even if I do know that I didn’t have all the horrible side effects and felt like dying, right after the first batch of the other mix either, I will go with being in this “now”, enjoy the moment and look forward to a more ok chemo future.
Was reminded by L, when we recorded another blog (none has been edited and posted yet, due to lack of time by my partner in crime and tech person, my son) that I tend to “forget” about difficulties in the past and just want to talk about what’s going at the moment. He wanted me to talk about how horrible last time was, that I decided to quit which then led to the changing of regime and I didn’t have that much to say, lol.
Might be tough for my surroundings sometime but I do like that ability :)
(image by https://pixabay.com/users/giografiche-377204/)