The experience at my last treatment had an extra aspect to it that I didn’t write about in my last blog.
For a moment when at “top” of the experience I felt as if I was right up at the edge of death. There was a sense of almost tipping over and then I came back. The symptoms subsided and reality of the hospital room took over.
Later I noticed that I was thrown back into that three dimensional (my description) way of experiencing the world, that had faded a bit. Everything was back to more color, more contours, more texture, more alive.
I felt, and still feel, grounded, honest, true and more alive.
It’s as if I’m in my own world of seeing, hearing and feeling the truth, almost like a bubble and at the same time fully within the whole world around me.
Stronger and more sensitive. Full of energy and easily drained. Satisfied and wanting more. Calm and excited all at the same time.
Wondering about Winston and his behavior I watch animal communicators on Youtube and I hear “He’s afraid that I’m going to die”.
It’s the same quality message that I sometimes get when coaching someone or just talking to or being with someone where I can know what’s really going on and that later many times is confirmed by the other person.
We know that dogs (and other animals) can detect illness. Some are trained but many have shown signs to their owners that later has discovered to be so.
I had cancer when I got him even if it wasn’t diagnosed until December, so he could have felt this from the very beginning of living with me.
I don’t know if this is real or not but it does make a lot of sense and explains so much of his constant almost obsessive attention on me.
The thing is now though, how do i communicate to him that he doesn’t have to worry, that I´m going to be fine? So that he can let go, relax and just be a secure and happy dog.