I think because I’m entering the home stretch, it seems the time is moving slower.
Waiting for this to be over, to be able to go back to a normal life.
To not run out of energy for just doing little things. To be able to do a regular workout. Stretch properly. Do yoga, if I want to. get back into shape, back into me.
And maybe loose some weight, to be able to wear the clothes I have. Right now I’m limited to certain ones, specially in the pants department. Not just loose the weight but start to feel like myself and not like some old, decrepit lady, which is how I feel and also see when looking in the mirror. No offence but just not me.
To be able to sleep better and not have to run to the bathroom several times a night.
Not blowing blood out of my nose! So disgusting!!!
Loose those round cheeks and se myself when I look in the mirror and not this chemo looking person that’s looking back these days.
Have my hair back. Since it’s still growing I’m hopeful that in a couple of months I might be able to do something fun with it like color it and wear it short, out in the world so to speak.
Eyebrows seem to also be filling in so maybe even my eye lashes will start coming back.
Have normal hunger and full feelings and not this weird hungry and full all at once, all the time, whether I’m eating or not.
Have a glass of wine before the summer is over. Outdoors, maybe even in a different country. Where do i want to go…..?
Small, usually regular, longings for, that are made big and dreamlike while journeying through chemo.