Wake up at 5, my stomach out of sorts, which is all a regular side effect. Blow my nose and it’s all blood.
Four more treatments-will my body be able to handle it, get through without too much damage?
Have been feeling kind of weak, muscles and body, this past week. Just from being out of shape or is chemo breaking it down?
Take the doggy out and as soon as we get back in, he “attacks” me and we fight for over an hour (second day in a row). While this is going on I discover that he’s peed on the floor during the night.
What is this “fighting” about? Why is he doing it? What does he want/need? And why peeing?
He’s ten months old and it just seems endless and like there must be something wrong. Why is he so difficult? What am i doing wrong?
Right now it seems hopeless. Is he supposed to live in the kitchen, by himself, forever? Walk on a short leash and never say hello to either dogs or humans? What kind of a life is that, for him and for me?
Frustrating and boring! Probably just that my life is kind of narrow these days with not much happening and the end getting closer, increasing the wish for it to be over.
Maybe that’s what Winston is feeling too?
My early-morning-phone-call-friend calls and has some fun news.
Next week some of the NY-staff from GS will be here and I’ll see them, so I suppose it’s not all bad.
And the sun is out! Those small things that we so often forget to appreciate are still there and I’m still here, alive and kicking, just a little more kicking and maybe it’s all a sign of health, wanting more?