Last chemo yesterday and today de-tox starts, the physical one that is. The mental and emotional de-tox started last Falll when this breast cancer/chemo journey started and will continue even more focused than before it all.
The feeling of freedom filling me with joy, excitement and energy.
No more weekly appointments, no more meds whether to combat side effects or potential cancer.
No more a body that runs me instead of me running it.
No more limited in activities to protect my right arm to not damage the pic line. Imagine I can wash my windows. Just the thing I’ve been longing for…..or not.
Eventually, end of this week, no more swollen and red face from Cortison.
No more blood when blowing my nose.
No more weird peeing, also from mucous membranes being affected by it all.
No more stomach upset, one way or another.
Now I can eat grapefruit, take Zinc and Anti-oxidants and in a few weeks I can have a glass of wine.
My “almost every time driver”, MW, gave me bottle as a graduation present that’s already chilling in my fridge.
I can go back to the gym.
Eventually I might be able to stay up past 9.30pm (21.30).
I will plan social events and not have to cancel them due to tiredness.
I can participate in other events, seminars and meets and not have to cancel them when realising that I’m too tired.
I can travel. Next week starting out with Ludvika.
Maybe and maybe, maybe my little “monster” Winston will realise that I am a trustworthy leader and he’ll be able to relax and just be the follower-dog that’s so much more comfortable.
So when the nurse asked me if I had any plans for the near future and probably expecting something exciting and special, all I could think of was that glass of wine :) because right now the joy and excitement is more about those small, daily and simple things where my focus and my thoughts is about me, what I want and who i am, than the bigger ones that might sound more fun.
(I do have Vilhelmina, Greece and New York on the horizon though)