Hardly slept last night. Such ache and a stinging feeling from my hips, down into my legs all the way to my feet. Didn’t matter how I laid. On my side, on my back, just unbearable, keeping me awake pretty much all night.
I’ve been getting this, lately more than before and it scares me.
Are my hips worn out? Do I need hip replacement? Is it inflammation?
Is it a side effect of chemo? Or has it gotten worse from chemo?
When on a bus or subway I have to stand up because it hurts too much if I sit. Something about those seats, i suppose.
Last night aspirin didn’t help and it’s still hurting and usually I feel ok sitting on the chair I’m sitting on now. Disheartening and frustrating.
I also don’t like taking any extra drugs right now so a twinge of worry from that too. My poor liver and the rest working overtime as it is.
Have been walking more than usual, hanging out with my friend S, visiting from NY.
So maybe it’s just over doing it, being so out of shape that I am, these days.
It seems that I need to work out regularly for my body to be ok and when I don’t I feel every extra physical activity.
This is so severe though, almost all the time and since it hurts as much when I lay down, hard to rest away.
So I suppose, step one is talking to my chemo doctor. Then do some kind of workout, even if light, stretching every day. Maybe new orthotics? New shoes?
18 days to last treatment, three left….almost done Marie, almost done.
Or is this just old age? Is this how it’ll be from now on? Will I have to accept not being able to do whatever I want? To adjust my days, my life to a failing body? So not me!
Listening to Anita Moorjani talking about “Fear is the absence of love”.
Can this be applied to your/my body? Is the pain and the fear of what it means, a lack of love for my body, for myself?
If you know me, you know that that’s a theory I’m interested in applying.